By: Kelly Ng

Often we, as women, are not taken seriously with our concerns, or are written off as overreacting or even lying. Just the other day, something happened reminding me of what women deal with on a daily basis. A few days ago, a man that I met about two years ago at a tattoo shop messaged me. We hadn’t spoken to each other besides the occasional exchange of messages, but at this point it had been about a year since I’d seen him. He asked me to hangout, but I declined because I was working a 12-hour shift. 

He proceeded to ask me about what time I got off work, but I didn’t feel comfortable sharing that information so I vaguely stated “late tonight”. He became upset because I told him I wasn’t obligated to answer that question, nor did I feel comfortable sharing that information. Suddenly, he began threatening me. He told me that he’d put his hands on me and put me in my place. As my eyes are gazing at the words, my heart drops and my mind immediately sends me on a flashback to my childhood. I am in immediate panic, but have to remind myself that I am not going to be a victim again.

I blocked him, but he created additional Instagram accounts to harass me with. I also blocked those accounts but forgot that he still had my number.He texted me after saying vulgar things, like,

“Come see me baby. Don’t block me again”. 

At this point, I’m shaking because I have bumped into this individual before at the mall, and now I have to fear bumping into him again. My mind races and I’m cluttered with thoughts. How was I going to be able to go out by myself again? How am I going to protect myself? What do I do if I come across him again?

He snatched any sense of security away from me. I felt just as vulnerable as that 9-year-old little girl who heard her mom get beat, but had no power to change the circumstances. I realized how quickly I felt powerless, and why so many women are fearful of men. I had to put my mind at ease by telling myself it’s different this time. This time, I’m in control.


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